September 2009
8 posts
3 tags
9 tags
THE PIANO SHITTER
After breaking so many hearts and not even giving some hearts a chance to break, I knew I’d get my payback someday. I just didn’t think it would happen with “M”.
First of all, he was way older than me. Like fifteen years old “older” – definitely too age-old to play games with me. Initially, I didn’t want to go out with him because of the age factor. And, he also had some other flaws I was...
THE DOG KISSER
There are dog people and there are cat people. Sometimes, you get those who love both equally. Then there are those who don’t like either or. Quite frankly, I don’t trust a person who doesn’t like neither cats or dogs inasmuch as it creeps me out when a person likes their house pet just a little bit too much.
Now before you go calling me bitch for claiming there is such a thing as “liking...
DATE WITH A CATCH
Not all bad dates happens to us – a lot of times, they happen to others too. Thank goodness we’re not the only ones to suffer from bad dating luck! And thank even more goodness, horror dates don’t only happen to girls.
A guy friend relayed a story of what recently happened to him and we’re still laughing because it’s so outlandish, you can’t make this shit up and the look of post-traumatic...
CHEAPSKATE
After the whole “fatso” incident, I was more inclined to bend the rules these days. I decided I didn’t want to wait for prolonged periods of time before meeting in person only to wind up being disappointed nor did I wish to meet anyone at a restaurant, bar or lounge for the first time for the very same reason. I didn’t want to be forced into spending time in public with someone for the extended...
FATSO
A person’s online profile picture is worth a million dates only if their photograph measures up to what they look like in real life. Essentially, that’s what draws you to a virtual stranger to begin with, right? Looks.
What a disappointment it is when a prospective date doesn’t live up to your expectations, when you see them in the flesh for the first time. It’s even more disturbing when they...
THE BOY WHO CALLED DADDY
There’s nothing wrong with being a trust fund baby. Let’s face it, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to be born shitting into golden diapers or receive a diamond-studded tricycle at age three. Big bucks in the bank, jet-setting on a whim, anywhere, anytime, fancy restaurants and couture – the prospect of it all rouses complete and utter awe.
So when I found out the dude was Trump-rich,...
HITLER DICK
The guy had everything – good looks and charm, a brand new BMW, a great job. I knew instantly, my mother would be happy with this one.
On our first date, he took me to a pricey, trendy restaurant in the Valley. I’d been there before but for the sake of keeping things fresh, I told I hadn’t. I definitely didn’t want to tell him that just last week, I went there on another first date with another...